Maybe it's time. Time to say thank you, for teaching me what it means to love, for teaching me a million and one other things, small but they've infused my life with colour. And close the chapter. Acknowledging the fact that those hands are no longer mine to hold. I try. I feel a little stronger now, being on my own for a while since that day. Sometimes I resent the fact that how something so wonderful could be reduced to nothingless. How connections established could just disappear. All in the blink of an eye. I've been dreaming about him almost every night now. I hope its not due to suppression that's why he emerges in my subconsciousness. When I met Pastor today, the first thing he said to me is "are you okay dear? you look so tired! you look like you can walk into a bus any moment and not know it." I'm working hard towards my dreams, towards what I want from life. When I get there, I hope that upon reflection I'll find that it's all worth it. But like my session with Teacher Pat today, planning must be with eternity in mind, and never walk far from the light. Busy has always been my way to cope with pain. Haha, funny that hasn't changed after all these years. Seeing more of his true self helps. Please help me to close it and walk on.
Interestingly, a friend who has been really nua is starting to get busy too! But she's really stressed out. And that's an understatement. She's getting headaches, insomnia and pretty much freaked out. Don't worry, I will be praying for you:) and when you feel that you cannot make it, I'll be there. To give you that extra strength and lend you my drive!
This semester is really really packed. I never knew I had the ability to pack so many things into my schedule but apparently I do! I'm doing a Post-it branding competition, taking an additional marketing core as my elective, doing design and on top of that plenty of assignments! Pretty much know I'm dead for AA301 Business valuation, an accounting module that since seminar 1 I've been falling asleep in for the whole 2 hours of class! Haha, the teacher is an indian and I can barely understand him with his accent. Plus I don't understand a single nut of what he's teaching. I'm dead!
Can't believe that I'm graduating so soon. Right now, there are so many recruitment drives coming up and friends left right center have already been offered jobs. And I have none. Not even sure where I'd end up though I know where I WANT to end up. I applied to Interbrand global offices, hope that I'd hear from them! They do branding for companies like BMW, Mazda etc. Don't I just wish I can get in?! But somehow somewhere in my guts, I have this feeling that I won't:( Oh well, hopefully just hopefully I won't have to do audit. Or else the next financial scandal in the papers will have my name in it. Unknowing participation of course!
The photoshoot turned out pretty okay. Probably not perfect, but it was fun! I'm in a very contemplative mood right now. Sprained my ankle last Sunday. Funny I've had so many years in sports and the ankle decides to go all funny on me now! Sprain is painful. I hope I never have to to through this again.
Labels: September 2009
