Maybe I just don't know me, maybe I don't even know what I want. This is why sometimes I really hate myself. Your open acceptance of me is almost heart wrenching, your selfless concern kills me. Because I have very little of me left and yet I choose to withhold some behind. You deserve more, possibly more than what I can give. Because you're so wonderful. And I have nothing. I feel so stupid, starting something that may not only have no happily-ever-after, but end up destroying a beautiful friendship. When I say status quo, I had thought it would remain. Yet foolishly, I think I have somehow asked for more than what I should get and can get. I didn't want to let you pay for dinner because that will constitute an acknowledgement that I'll let you take care of me. I told you not to end the current relationship because all these would blur the lines between us further. Right now I'm already having a hard time deciding where I end and you begin.


I'm so scared, I actually feel like running. What happened to never settling for less?